- from Christy
Love letters from Jeremy. I have lots of them. They are one of my most precious possessions. Each sealed in protective plastic sleeves, and organized chronologically in a large binder. Mostly they are dated pre-marriage, pre-babies, pre-trials of this life. I pull them out from time to time, trying to get a small glimpse of our simpler days. Days where our toughest decision was whether to diligently study for college classes, or, throw responsibility to the wind, to gaze into each others eyes for a bit longer. Precious memories, and precious moments of ease.
Last weekend we celebrated Father's day. Jeremy isn't one for Hallmark created holidays, but he does appreciate the opportunity to tell those he loves how thankful he is for them. But when it comes to himself, he prefers no cards, no gifts, no hubbub. I honor his wishes with a minor amount of frustration. I was recently reminiscing about one of his first letters to me. A small portion of it reads,
I want you to have everything you need. And this is simply the infancy of our relationship! But just like everybody loves a baby, I love this point in our lives. These days and moments are the precious foundation of what could be the most significant relationship of either of our temporal lives.That letter was written October 13, 1999. Jeremy's words couldn't have been truer. That precious foundation was laid during those early days of our relationship, and that foundation has seen untold blessings and joys while weathering several storms along the way. I cannot imagine God choosing a better man for me. Jeremy is all that I need and so much more than I deserve. He knows my greatest joys, highest aspirations, darkest thoughts, and worst fears. He knows my strengths, my weaknesses, and he loves me for all of them. I long for those early days at times. When we could sleep all night in the same bed, eat at the same table, complete an entire conversation without interruption, and where all we knew was love and responsibility for each other. Don't get me wrong. I love our babies. Every one of them. But I couldn't have known that I was taking those early days for granted. I couldn't have known how hard it would become.
As our babies have come and our responsibilities have grown, I have joyed in seeing Jeremy father. The pride he takes in his children is palpable. He is constantly seeking for ways to invest time into their lives. Jeremy has a quote on his desk that says, "To a child, Love is spelled T-I-M-E." That about says it all I think.
His love for our typical children is so very clear. They are easier to physically love a lot of times. No boogers, poo, behaviors, sensory issues, etc. It is just simpler and gentler and predictable. It's just different. But when I catch him looking at Josiah and Jalen sometimes, there are these moments where you see such adoration, unconditional love,
indescribable pride. A love that needs no physical contact. A love that needs no words. A love that is certainly unique because of the way God has uniquely made his boys. I could stay there all day in those moments. But like time does, those moments pass. The hard now and now comes flooding in again. We both struggle to stay afloat at times, but Jeremy is stronger by far. He yields to God's plan much easier than I do. He is always there trying to encourage me while being honest about his own fears and frustrations. He is my constant.