The home security salesman on the phone was stunned to silence. I told him that I wasn't worried with keeping people out of my house, that I was needing someway to make sure that no one can escape. "What do you offer in the way of concertina wire?" What I really need is one of those concrete moats they put around the polar bears.
So how do you keep a 5- and 3-year old safe when they wouldn't know safe if it flew up on a broomstick and handed them an fresh apricot? How do you convey the concept of looking both ways before crossing to a child who won't look at you when you're talking and wouldn't know what you're saying anyway? How do you keep them out of the neighbor's pool? Or out of the cabinet where the gummy vitamins are? And why do they like the gummy vitamins better than actual gummy snacks anyway? Do they just know that they're more expensive? Can they taste my frustration?
So here is a post for all you parents of road runners and dirt tasters, for all you care-givers to bookshelf climbers and escape artists. Here are some ways we keep the asylum perimeter secure and the inmates accurately counted.
Stay tuned for the moat installation.